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"I feel like I'm doing a Spec-Ops mission in the middle of the Vietnam jungle" - Aleks

Amazon Prime Time is a series featuring Aleks and James, in which they purchase items from Amazon. They give the items to one another, and then try them out.  




Episodes Edit

# Episode Uploaded
1 CIRCUMCISION TRAINING April 22, 2016
2 OWL PELLET DISSECTION May 6, 2016
3 BODY BAG BURIAL May 17, 2016
4 BIRTHDAY SURPRISE June 2, 2016
5 55 GALLONS OF PASSION LUBE June 18, 2016
6 INCREDIBLE TITTY DISPENSER July 9, 2016
7 MAKE CHEESE GREAT AGAIN July 28, 2016
8 FIRE IN THE PEE HOLE August 23, 2016
9 ELECTROLARYNX EXPERIMENT September 10, 2016
10 FAT OLD FRED September 24, 2016
11 SELF-INFLICTED FIRE DAMAGE October 8, 2016
12 SPOOKY SPIDER PENETRATION October 29, 2016
13 BRUTAL HOVERBOARD ACCIDENT November 17, 2016
14 BUBBLE BOY December 3, 2016
15 $1,000 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: PART ONE December 24, 2016
16 $1,000 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: PART TWO December 27, 2016
17 BASS-BOOSTED MANICURE January 14, 2017
18 ROCK STAR COWBOY January 25, 2017
19 BLEACHED EYES DISASTER February 15, 2017
20 EXTREME DIY SUPERHEROES February 25, 2017
21 ASYLUM PATIENT ADOPTS FISH March 9, 2017
22 EXPENSIVE DRONES & TALKING BIRDS March 30, 2017
23 FEVERISH TUNES AND FLAMES April 8, 2017
24 YOUTUBE IMPOSTERS CHANNEL MELTDOWN May 6, 2017
25 WILD CHAMPAGNE BACHELORETTE PARTY May 20, 2017
26 VAPING ALCOHOL IN A STRIP CLUB June 3, 2017
27 ICE CREAM KICKBALL AND DIRTY COCKTAILS June 17, 2017

Item History Edit

WARNING: Some links are NSFW

CIRCUMCISION TRAINING Edit

Items Featured
Aleks → James Yodeling Pickle Face Blanket
James → Aleks Uterus Plushie Infant Circumcision Trainer

OWL PELLET DISSECTION Edit

Items Featured
Aleks → James Old Woman With Inhaler Bacon Mints
James → Aleks The Wine Rack Owl Pellets

BODY BAG BURIAL Edit

Guest: Geoff Ramsey

Items Featured
Aleks → Geoff Chambong Brain Controlled Cat Ears
James → Geoff Body Bag CPR Training Manikins

BIRTHDAY SURPRISE Edit

Guests: Trevor, Aron, Joe, Brett

Items Featured
Trevor → James Birthday Hat Meeting Mug Mug Cake Spoons
Aron → James Binoculars Quadcopter
Joe → James Corgi "Neckerchief" "Beard" Cream
Brett → James Face Belt Nose Straightner Eyelid Trainier
Aleks → James Condom Training Model Female Condoms

55 GALLONS OF PASSION LUBEEdit

Guests: Trevor, Aron, Joe, Brett

  • Note: This video is not in the same formatting as normal Amazon Prime Time videos
Items Featured
55-Gallon Drum of Passion Lube
Inflatable Pool
"Bill" the Inflatable Swan
Inflatable Pool Pong

INCREDIBLE TITTY DISPENSER Edit

Items Featured
James → Aleks Hulk Selk'bag Breast Shower Gel Dispensers Dammit Doll
Aleks → James Tablet Roomba UFO Detector

MAKE CHEESE GREAT AGAIN Edit

Items Featured
Aleks → James Fried Chicken Case The Shocker hat Trump Chia Shrek Chia
James → Aleks White Bouncy Cow Pink Bouncy Rhino Cheese Kit Purr Power CD

FIRE IN THE PEE HOLE Edit

Items Featured
James → Aleks Doody Head Game ;_;
Aleks → James Sonny Angel Minifigures TickleSeat

ELECTROLARYNX EXPERIMENT Edit

Items Featured
Aleks → James Kylo Ren Mask Escape Ladder
James → Aleks Bucket o'Scat Electrolarynx

FAT OLD FRED Edit

Items Featured
James → Aleks Foreskin Replacement Fat Old Fred
Aleks → James Rapid Egg Cooker Pokémon Battle Arena

SELF-INFLICTED FIRE DAMAGE Edit

Items Featured
James → Aleks Aeroshots "Moby" 3 ft. Dildo
Aleks → James Fire Resistant Jacket Fire Resistant Mask ElectroLight Fire Starter
Fire Extinguisher Bounce Shoes

SPOOKY SPIDER PENETRATION Edit

Items Featured
Costumes Octopus Costume Batman Costume Lady Parts Mask Trevor's Ghost
Aleks → James R/C Tarantula Massager Travel Pillow Travel Pillow 2
Lap Pillow Back Cushion Neck Massager Privacy Pillow
James → Aleks Pulsating Dildo Habit Breaker

BRUTAL HOVERBOARD ACCIDENT Edit

Items Featured
Aleks → James Nora the Piano Cat Swegway HoverSeat
James → Aleks Walrus Puppet Cow Puppet 3Doodler

BUBBLE BOY Edit

Items Featured
James → Aleks BACON ManBucket Bumper Ball
Aleks → James Crystal Growing Kit Hair Dryer Bonnet Attachment

$1,000 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: PART ONEEdit

Guest: Trevor

  • Note: This video is not in the same formatting as normal Amazon Prime Time videos
Items Featured
Chewable Coffee
Primal Pit Paste (Orange)
Jamstik+
Sugru Mouldable Glue
Soylent (12 ct.)

$1,000 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: PART TWOEdit

Guest: Trevor

  • Note: This video is not in the same formatting as normal Amazon Prime Time videos
Items Featured
Phonesoap
Stick Anywhere Glasses
Collar Perfect
Smart Ring
Edwin the Duck
Cozmo the Robot

BASS-BOOSTED MANICUREEdit

Items Featured
James → Aleks Monkey Nail Polish Blower Tweexy Nail Polish Bottle Holder Piggy Paint
SubPac M2
Aleks → James Scooter "Stick" SubPac M2

ROCK STAR COWBOY Edit

Guest: Geoff Ramsey, Trevor

Items Featured
Trevor → Geoff Cowboy Costume Log Arcade Gunslinger
Aleks → Geoff Tattoo Arm Sleeves Biker Gloves Black Hair/Wig Electronic Drum Kit
James → Geoff Bathtub Full of Cereal ft. Joe

BLEACHED EYES DISASTER Edit

  • Note: All these items are from Walmart
Items Featured
Aleks → James Everlast Weighted Vest Roll-On Massager Mini Stepper
James → Aleks Toilet Trouble Game Clorox Concentrated Bleach Air Marker Sprayer Vibe Singing Machine

EXTREME DIY SUPERHEROES Edit

  • Note: Elbow Pads may not be the exact same as in the video.
Items Featured
Aleks → James Jet Jat Drone Elbow Pads Ripstik Mountain Board
James → Aleks DIY Superhero Mask & Cape Razor Helmet Acton Rocketskates

ASYLUM PATIENT ADOPTS FISH Edit

  • Note: Stan the Fish wasn't purchased on Amazon.
Items Featured
Aleks → James Calypso RC Glider Razor Drifter Kart
James → Aleks Green Wig Straight Jacket w/ Training Guide 6 Gallon Aquarium & Superclean 10 Goldfish

EXPENSIVE DRONES & TALKING BIRDS Edit

Items Featured
Aleks → James 3-D Wood Target Throwing Axes Phantom 4 Drone
James → Aleks Pete "the Repeat" Parrot Chatty Patty Perfect Polly Dissection Kit Suture Pad (Light Skin) Suture Pad (Dark Skin)

FEVERISH TUNES AND FLAMES Edit

Items Featured
Aleks → James (Trevor) Portable Grand Piano Razor E300 Electric Scooter
James (Trevor) → Aleks Gummy Bear & T-Rex Candles Bluetooth Toothbrush

WILD CHAMPAGNE BACHELORETTE PARTY Edit

Items Featured
Aleks → James Boyfriend Pillow Novcolyxa Model RC Car
James → Aleks Deulling Dickies Champagne Gun

VAPING ALCOHOL IN A STRIP CLUB Edit

  • Note: The Vapshot was not purchased on Amazon.
Items Featured
Aleks → James Mesh Squish Ball Fidget Cube, Flippy Chain Fidget
James → Aleks Cash Cannon Vapshot Alcohol Dispenser

ICE CREAM KICKBALL AND DIRTY COCKTAILS Edit

Items Featured
Aleks → James Automatic Shoe Cover Dispenser DayOne Waterbag
James → Aleks Ice Cream Ball Bibo Barmaid System

Trivia Edit

  • "Fire In The Pee Hole" is the first episode to become age restricted in the Amazon Prime Time series.
  • "Rock Star Cowboy" is the only episode where a gift is given that isn't actually from Amazon.
  • Geoff has appeared twice on the Cow Chop channel appearing in only two Amazon Prime Time episodes.
  • "Bass-Boosted Manicure" is the only episode where James and Aleks have given each other the same gift.
  • "Bleached Eyes Disaster" is the first episode filmed outside the Cow Chop house, which is located in James' House, and the first episode where James and Aleks buy products from Walmart and not Amazon.
  • "Extreme DIY Superheroes" is the first episode inside The Barn.
  • In "Asylum Patient Adopts Fish" , Aleks adopts a fish given to him by James who he names Stan.
  • Throughout the entire series, Aleks has bought James a total of 3 drones.
  • "Fever Tunes and Flames" is the first episode where James isn't included.
  • "YouTube Imposters Channel Meltdown" is the first episode where both James and Aleks aren't included.
  • Episode 24 was alternately named "Channel Breakup Fever Dream" according to the description of the video.
  • Episode 25, Wild Champagne Bachelorette Party" was sponsored by Dollar Shave Club.
  • The Vapshot Alcohol Dispenser in episode 26 was actually bought from the website, not Amazon because Amazon didn't sell them.

Quotes Edit

  • "I feel like I'm doing a Spec-Ops mission in the middle of the Vietnam jungle" - Aleks
  • "Have you ever had like, a massive cumshot?" - Joe
  • "I think you made me pregnant" - Aron
  • "My bird is dead and all you care about is money? Do you know how much this cost me?" - James
  • "You look like the lead singer of a Puerto Rican reggae band" - Aleks
  • "How much did that cost you?" - James... "Our friendship" - Aleks
  • "What?! Extraterrestrial beings are nearby, James! Take cover before it's too late, man!" - Aleks
  • "This shit's like fucking...alchemy, dude" - Aleks
  • "I've had a stroke and I can't get up" - Aron
  • "I'm faster on my legs than you are on your wheels...Nascar" - Aleks
  • "I feel like I'd have this at like a Star Wars bar while the Cantina band is playing" - Aleks
  • "You're going to have a rash and then your gonna shit yourself!" - James
  • "The white one is smaller than the black one too for some reason" - Aleks
  • "I just realized man, I cant fucking read" - Aleks
  • "Uhmmm, Suck my cock" - Cozmo the Robot
  • "Every time I come to visit you guys I am blown away by your professionalism" - Geoff
  • "HOLY SHIT THAT BURNS!!!!! FUCK!!!" - James
  • "Your like, your like...your gonna be really excited about this Amazon...a fucking home craft kit, wow. Oooooh! What am I a grandma?!" - Aleks
  • "This is the worst drone pilot ever. Like, what the fuck am I looking at?" - Aleks
  • "Ohhhh what the fuck was that?! You fucking pulled it all back out, you can't do that to a patient!" - James
  • "Shoutout to all my retards out there" - Trevor
  • "Brett! I'm so sorry dude! Don't beat me up man! I'm so frail dude! I am legit sorry!" - Trevor

Translations Edit

At the bottom of the description in each Cow Chop video there are two phrases (sometimes one), both in a different language that are sometimes related to that video. | The following are the translations for each video.

NOTE: Most of these are meant to not make any sense.

CIRCUMCISION TRAINING | Episode 1

  1. Hawaiian → English - "This video is an anal shit. IM, no lie, circumcision rebel force? Who the fuck does he like? It Aloha from. But his education. So i choose to work for the benefit of those around us who knew the circumcision. Everyone has to take the rebel force."
  2. Italian → English - "Pickles are a great element to push into the ass hole. They are available in an extraordinary liquid, more or less so that the brine is already lubricated in order to save an extra step. You can also use the container to savor the taste of raw ass ass. Some things do not make sense, but when it comes to pickles, those in your ass are a gift from God."

OWL PELLET DISSECTION | Episode 2

  1. Danish → English - "Being tired can do a lot of things for you. It can make your eyes feel like sand and it can make your body numb. Sometimes you get dizzy too, but you also wonder why you let it happen. Maybe you enjoy it, maybe you do not, but the question is why."
  2. Bosnian → English - "We talked about using baby wipes. Is it really acceptable to use them? But why would people were against them, they have the luxury of your butthole, especially if you have thousands of hairs on your ass."

BODY BAG BURIAL | Episode 3

  1. French → English - "I am writing this quickly because I have a very important package that I have to ship. If I do not carry now, I will lose a lot of money. That would be very bad, I would not be able to buy fresh milk, instead I will have to drink rotten milk. Rotten milk makes your nails very thick and they will eventually ruin your shoes. I hope this is an important lesson to you, young people."
  2. Xhosa → English - "Art is a way to express yourself. However, violence is way better to show your skill true. I think you should know this."

BIRTHDAY SURPRISE | Episode 4

  1. Belarusian → English - "The cake can come in all sizes and shapes. Frosting can be varied to taste, too. It's great food, but you should be careful with it. If you eat a lot, you can get diabetes."
  2. Catalan → English - "Somehow, no matter what, there is always a disorder that happens. We could make a video about the balloons and somehow, someone is going to get dirty."

55 GALLONS OF PASSION LUBE | Episode 5

  1. German → English - "I'm too tired to put in any effort to make something creative for this translation"
  2. Western Frisian → English - "That Lube that taste and smell like yogurt. I am not a big fan of yogurt"

INCREDIBLE TITTY DISPENSER | Episode 6

  1. Catalan → English - "Oh shit, dude, are the breasts in the shower. No more porn if I need them, hell maybe I can put lubricant on them, so they can quickly and simply expúlsela crush my stick fast"
  2. Vietnamese → English - "I apologize to those who have found the flashback attacks in Vietnam"

MAKE CHEESE GREAT AGAIN | Episode 7

  1. Icelandic → English - "I know a lot of people enjoying traditional cheese, made from cow yogurt, but I want my cheese to make human milk, it's just a good sour taste where you can not get anywhere else"
  2. Spanish → English - "What kind of cheese do you think enjoys Shrek? He's a great guy, I'm sure he likes some great guy cheese. Maybe he enjoys the simple things in life, I bet he loves cheddar cheese."

FIRE IN THE PEE HOLE | Episode 8

  1. Spanish → English - "We play with head doody all the time in our Christian school, my teacher, Mr. Gasglinger is always the best player. We always make bets with him in the hope that when we win we can get a prize, if we win, we do not have to do the day duties, but if he wins we have to give him a kiss, which usually gives us a drink too much to relax , Sometimes it relaxes me a lot and although I fall asleep."
  2. Arabic → English - "I've collected tons of those little angel dolls, and I like to hollow them out so I can transfer drugs in them. No one ever doubted anything."

ELECTROLARYNX EXPERIMENT | Episode 9

  1. Latvian → English - "They say some poop is edible and full of nutrients. Just have to find the right kinds of poop. Some poop is full of vitamins A and E, which help the skin growth and improve eyesight. If you have a jungle, then you are in luck. I was about adventure time and saw a giant pile of bat poop cave. There was nothing else to eat, so I ate poop. I never felt so good in my life. The results really improved my health, skin, mood and general condition. Just be sure to eat the right kinds of poop."
  2. Albanian → English - "Kylo Ren is my dad. Not like my current father, but my dad. When I say dad I want to say how I have strong feelings for Kylo Ren. This is not really the way he looks or the way he acts, but mainly the way his voice sounds. His deep manic voice makes me feel so good. I love feeling his killing box sound all over my body. He's really a wonderful man and I'm so fortunate to be able to call that dad."

FAT OLD FRED | Episode 10

  1. Swedish → English - "We cooked some goose's eggs and they smelled a bit smelly. They tasted pretty damn good but reminded me of my mothers cooking. Just put some mustard and mayonnaise on it and you have a treatment yourself."
  2. Spanish → English - "Fat Old Fred has been a lifelong friend at the moment. We do everything together, however he is very shy. Sometimes I have to talk for him, but when he does he says a lot of good things about me. He is a wonderful man."

SELF-INFLICTED FIRE DAMAGE | Episode 11

  1. Spanish → English - "Want to hear a little secret? I'm going to fly to New York in 9 hours while I'm writing this. Nothing says productivity then wait until the last minute my friends. Let me finish these chicken tenders and maybe I'll pack soon after this."
  2. Polish → English - "Chemical substances in the air was a nice treat for my body. That I feel really good my guys."

SPOOKY SPIDER PENETRATION | Episode 12

  1. Albanian → English - "James loves buying things that you can get older."
  2. Mongolian → English - "Under 6 hours of 1998 and 1979, the US banned smoking: 2 hours, 1990 under US domestic flights banned smoking on domestic flights: Cigar and pipe aircraft 1988 banned federal law's introduction to prohibit the use of all tobacco: All American flight 2000's US airline smoking banned domestic airlines."

BRUTAL HOVERBOARD ACCIDENT | Episode 13

  1. Hawaiian → English - "Hoverboards are dangerous. Only ask James. You fall and break your head and have a concussion. However, it is Super dangers we recommend that you do this at home. We never have to do a Kamehameha, video and this hoverboard and hoverseat agree."
  2. Italian → English - "I recommend using a sock puppy to masturbate in. It feels so good with soft cotton on the cock and when it explodes is easy to clean. I do not recommend doing this, though, if your father is a puppet maker, he could have been super crazy and denying it."

BUBBLE BOY | Episode 14

  1. Norwegian → English - "To be a bubble boy is a big achievement. To hold back all temptations of wanted to be free so you can stay in a bubble for the rest of your life. It's gratifying."
  2. Catalan → English - "Many of my socks have holes in them now. I have new socks, but they are so long. I'm kind of dealing with it now, but it does suck. It is in me that this has happened, but my husband sucks."

$1,000 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: PART ONE | Episode 15

  1. Lithuanian → English - "The largest egg weighed 2,589 kg (5 £ 11.36 oz) and was placed ostrich (Struthio CAMELUS) at a farm owned and Gunnar SAHLIN Kerstin (Sweden) to Borlange, Sweden, 17 May 2008."
  2. Swedish → English - "Mistel (Mistel) is from the Anglo-Saxon word mistletoe, which means "little dung twig" because the plant spreads even birdwatching."

$1,000 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: PART TWO | Episode 16

  1. Somali → English - "It's holiday! Are not you happy? This is the best time to be with your family and share the greatest gift of all, family. Thanks for being a part of the family cow surprising. Thanks for watching."
  2. French → English - "Be yourself and give to the world. Give gifts to others and make them happy. Not only physical gifts but good gestures and good deeds. Make the world a better place, happy holidays to all."

BASS-BOOSTED MANICURE | Episode 17

  1. French → English - "Wiley Hardeman Post (November 22, 1898 - August 15, 1935) was a famous American aviator during the period known as Golden Age of Aviation, the first pilot to fly solo around the world."
  2. Japanese → English - "Today I saw the smell of the moon dust like gunpowder. This is due to an astronaut who had the opportunity to sniff the fresh moon dust that was tracked by the moon module after an excursion on the surface of the moon."

ROCK STAR COWBOY | Episode 18

  1. Albanian → English - "All the physical earth in Canada is the property of the Crown, Queen Elisabeth 11. There is no provision in the Canada Law or the 1982 Constitutional Act which alters it, for any Canadian, any physical earth in Canada."
  2. Turkish → English - "Geoff Ramsey Rooster is the founder of Dental, Success Predator and Let's Play family. But did you know that it is made of pure metal and that it is drums of every band of the '70s?"

BLEACHED EYES DISASTER | Episode 19

  1. Bulgarian → English - "My whole body is covered with grease. The question is what kind of grease, what grease I'm willing to put on my whole body. I will leave this to you."
  2. Spanish → English - "I like to light candles in a circle and bury the chicken bones in the backyard. Then I wish good luck, but it seems like every time I make someone I know gets hurt."

EXTREME DIY SUPERHEROES | Episode 20

  1. Bosnian → English - "I want to put my fingers super power within all. Once I decided that keeps them in her ass hole on the cow. It was not a pretty sight when the cow shit exploded in his face. This is a cost that has such great power."
  2. Finnish → English - "I need a hero I'm holding out the hero 'til the end of the night He needs to be strong He must be fast He needs to be a fresh fight I need a hero I'm holding out a hero' in the morning light He needs to be sure And need to be soon He needs to be bigger than life"

ASYLUM PATIENT ADOPTS FISH | Episode 21

  1. Polish → English - "Give me a kiss on your lips you are sexy cows. Let me rub the place and make you feel good. Thank you for such a sexy ass cow. Let me hold my penis inside the cows' cheeks. Oh yeah, oh yeah, please cows."
  2. Dutch → English - "I wonder what you would do if I got my finger in my ass and screamed for joy? Thank you for keeping me inside of my own ass hole. What would you do if I sneaked on your ass hole?"

EXPENSIVE DRONES & TALKING BIRDS | Episode 22

  1. Swedish English - "Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me"
  2. Irish → English - "I can not believe you made me. Why can not I just be a good boy and get the food that I deserve. Thank you for giving me my oatmeal and pancakes."

FEVERISH TUNES AND FLAMES | Episode 23

  1. Spanish → English - "That fire couch actually lasted a good bit, obviously we can not have two minutes of an armchair burning, but the man, that sofa will burn nice and slow. I think the homeless here in LA could use it as a bonfire, I'm sure it would last for weeks. Plus there is plenty of food tucked away on the couch, so you will be prepared and ready to eat after the flames come out. Well, it's been a blast guys, there's still some barn left content, but we're reaching that LA era. He was thrilled, yes."

YOUTUBE IMPOSTERS CHANNEL MELTDOWN | Episode 24

  1. Spanish → English - "Hey guys its Trevor back here again on it with another fever dream video. Wow was not this just great to see, so many great little moments. I'm pretty sure we used almost all the jokes in the book. Well, see you next time, I'm probably going to say goodbye."

WILD CHAMPAGNE BACHELORETTE PARTY | Episode 25

  1. Spanish English - "Hey guys, it's Trevor again. Let me tell you a little story. It's a story about my big toe, it's no longer a part of my body, but it's still a bit of me. My big toe goes on a lot of adventures, but once he hit a big toe, he soon died."

VAPING ALCOHOL IN A STRIP CLUB | Episode 26

  1. Spanish → English - "It is not safe to eat poop, so this is your daily reminder not to eat poop. I know for some of you it may be tempting to simply go outside and find a great piece of poop to chew, but I must advise against that. Please stay inside and instead eat a healthy portion of apples. Thanks for listening today, come back another day for bigger advice."

ICE CREAM KICKBALL AND DIRTY COCKTAILS | Episode 27

  1. Spanish → English - "Hello people, Trevor here, it's once again on Saturday. So I'll leave you guys with a little secret message, "my toes are growing ears". Thank you."

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